Maintaining Your Sanity in Parenting

Dan
Aug 30, 2017
4 min read

Remember those days when you used to complain because you were so “bored” or you had “nothing to do?” How would you like to go back to those carefree days, where your only concern was what you were doing on the weekend with your friends and how you were going to fight summer boredom?

Wow, what a difference twenty or so years makes. Sitting here at the ripe old age of thirty-one, I begin to realize how little time I actually have anymore. It seems like life is a series of juggling one appointment with another, work with home life, kids with friends, chores with free time, etc. By the time bedtime rolls around, two loads of laundry have been done, dinner made, dishes washed, kids rooms cleaned and more, in addition to a full work day.

I commend single parents, both mothers and fathers. The struggle is real. Juggling work, kids, and for some of us lucky people, even higher education for ourselves, time really just isn’t on our side anymore. It’s tough to juggle and even tougher to practice finding meaning in our day to day lives, with hectic schedules and overwhelming to-do lists.

Here are some tips Suzi and I suggest for maintaining your sanity, finding meaning in your day to day hectic lifestyle, and encouragement for your sustainability.

Drink lots of water and exercise a few times a week- it’s true you know, when they say you can’t take care of others if you first don’t take care of yourself. I have had to find this out the hard way. It’s been a challenge taking care of my health and keeping it at the forefront of my mind with everything going on. However, I have noticed, the better I am in my health, the better I am in my life. I am more attentive, quicker and filled with energy when I am playing with the kids than when I am not taking care of myself. Just do it. You’ll thank yourself for it.
Start practicing mindfulness- It doesn’t take much. Just take a few minutes out of your day every day to really take in everything around you. Notice the sound of the fan buzzing in the background, the residual smell of the living room candle you burned last night, etc. Be in the moment. Be present. This mindfulness practice will help you to really appreciate and understanding the moment. We are always on “fast forward,” focusing on what our next to-do list item is, that we truly don’t stop to smell the roses. Do it. Okay?
Start meditating, doing yoga, or deep breathing exercises- No, I’m not asking you to become some cliché yoga doing, meditating hippy (although, I am and I’m not against anyone who is). Instead, what I am suggesting is that you take some time to really center yourself spiritually (not religiously- which is an entirely different bullet-point).

Find what works for you, but if you don’t think you can do the yoga or meditation, at least practice some deep breathing exercises. Even if it is for a few minutes. There is the 4 X 4 Breathing Technique, which has you breathe in for 4 counts, hold it for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts and hold the exhale for 4 counts. There is also the 4-8-4 Breathing Technique, which has you breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 8 counts and exhale for 4 counts. Both of these techniques helps to increase the amount of oxygen circulating through your blood and also, during the exhale, fully void your lungs of the toxic residuals which you don’t always exhale.

One of Suzi and I’s favorite, calming songs to listen to is Marconi Union- Weightless. Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYoqCJNPxv4 In fact, we have read that this song is so relaxing that researchers and scientists do not want people listening to it while driving or operating heavy machinery. So yeah, check it out.

4. Take time for you and your significant other- I can’t stress this enough. There are days when I look to Suzi and just desperately want to spend some time, just us, enjoying us. Sometimes I want to talk about dreams, aspirations, the goings on of the world, without discussing bills, if diapers have been changed, if school bills have been paid, if child support is up to date, etc. The quickest way to a failed relationship with not only your significant other but yourself, is by not taking or making the time to contribute to them. Suzi and I spend time writing each other notes, sipping glasses of wine and talking at midnight (since that seems to be our only alone time), sharing stories, tagging each other in interesting things of facebook, and taking each other on adventures. We aren’t perfect, but spending this extra necessary time, makes all the difference in the strength and bond of a relationship.

5. Alcohol can be your friend- Drink a glass of wine. Or 2. Or 3. Just don’t drive afterwards.

6. Write/say what you are grateful for every day- I truly think this one should have been number two. They say, what you most think about is what will be most present in your life. So, as successful people say, you have to do good to see good, we are trying to be more adamant about listing out the things we are grateful for every night before bed. I think we are going to try to start writing these things down in a notebook so we can look back. In Oprah’s book, What I Know For Sure, she talks about how important it is to have a gratitude journal and reflect daily on the things you are grateful for, even if it is something as simple as being able to buy gas for your car that day.

This along with everything else on this list, is definitely a work in progress for me, but these are all of the ways I am trying to stay strong, sustained and happy in my life.

What kinds of things are you doing to maintain your sanity?

What does your schedule look like and how are you managing?