Getting Past Perfection

So often we find ourselves feeling like we have to be perfect. We believe we have to be the perfect parents, with the perfect house, driving the perfect car and wearing the perfect clothes. We believe we have to juggle work, kids, family, social lives and personal time, perfectly. We are made to believe that if we don't discipline our kids correctly, they won't turn out to be perfect humans. We believe that we have to juggle being a Martha Stewart type parent who works a full time job, has supper on the table (all made from scratch), grows our own non GMO, fresh from the garden vegetables, knits and crochets our children's blankets, sews our children's clothing, all the while teaching them important life lessons AND maintaining our own social life and sanity.

Well, here at Dapper Dadz, we say, SCREW perfection. There is not a single person on this planet who is perfect. Think about how boring it would be if everyone was perfect. We would be living in a constant Stepford Wives world. We've learned that in the moments of imperfection, that's when life truly happens and oh boy, can it be beautiful.

"There is no one perfect way to be a good [parent]. Each situation is unique. Each [parent] has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each [parent] and each family. Many are able to be "full-time [parents]" at least during the most formative years of their children's lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a [parent] loves their children deeply..." -Elder M. Russell Ballard

(Being a Perfect Parent- Darkwing Duck style)

Enjoy the moments that drive you crazy; the moments where you want to rip your hair out. These are the moments that help you grow and help your children to know that failure is just as much a part of life as success is. By being totally transparent and willing to admit your flaws, your children won't feel the ridiculous pressure of trying to be someone they aren't. Just remember you aren't alone. You are human and we make mistakes.

(Check out this video from Teresa Graham Brett- on I'm Not the Perfect Parent)

Just try your best to be the most authentic and genuine parent you can be. Most of us turned out okay. Remember that your job is not to be their best friend, but rather to love them unconditionally. You are responsible for their well-being and developmental growth. You are responsible for teaching them how to be humble and kind. Are you going to mess up sometimes? Sure. Are you going to be perfect? Hell no. But, you are going to keep at it until you begin to get more and more consistent.

(Kristina Kuzmic- I'm not your friend, kid)

The worst thing a child can experience is a part-time parent, part-time friend situation. Those are the situations where the parent can't decide if they want to be the parent or be the friend. Often in these situations the parent on one hand is very strict, authoritative and angry and on the other, the parent can be too lenient with no boundaries, no routines and no forms of discipline. This becomes increasingly confusing for the child.

So while you shouldn't be aiming at becoming a perfect parent, you should instead focus on becoming consistent and providing your children with experiences and situations that will help them grow and learn to be humble and kind. Don't beat yourself up trying to be the Martha Stewart version of perfect parenting.

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